“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
- Dad: Don't put the new knives in the dishwasher, okay?
- Me: Why?
- Dad: Because you'll blunt them
- Brother: Oh, did you hear that laddie, he said we'll blunt the knives!
- Dad: ...what
- Me: BLUNT THE KNIVES, BEND THE FORKS
- Brother: SMASH THE BOTTLES AND BURN THE CORKS
- Dad: ... no